


barbed wire fence

by Zillychu (Zilleniose)



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Gen, Humor, Nobody biology + headcanons, Post-Kingdom Hearts III, could be read as pre-relationship if you wanted to
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-13
Updated: 2019-05-13
Packaged: 2020-03-02 10:19:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18809188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zilleniose/pseuds/Zillychu
Summary: "Don't you understand how easy it'd be for me to kill you? You remember that Demon Tide? That was just Heartless. Those things devour worlds and they still can't hold a candle to Nobodies.”Hayner swallowed, but the barest change in his expression beyond surprise made Roxas think it wasn't from nerves.“Weird flex, but okay-”“HAYNER.”





	barbed wire fence

**Author's Note:**

> Featuring: my incredibly self-indulgent Nobody headcanons, and the equally self indulgent opinion that Vexen wasn't the one to save the Twilight trio in KHIII.

Roxas wasn’t sure how Hayner knew when he’d be getting back from his mission, but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t feel a warmth in his chest seeing him waiting there at the mansion gates when he stepped out of the dark portal. All smiles and unfaltering bravado, a familiar face was like salve to his aching bones. 

A short breather was definitely in order, and the forest edge was welcoming with its pleasantly cool breeze and light-dappled grass. Their amicable chatter hit a comfortable lull of silence, basking in the serenity.

Until Hayner shifted his weight to one foot, leaning on the trunk of a sturdy tree.

“That was you, wasn't it?” Hayner asked, uncharacteristically quiet. Sincere. He looked up past the worn and busted bricks, towards the pillars that adorned the abandoned courtyard. “Here, I mean. Back then.”

Roxas stayed silent, for probably a bit too long. He laughed weakly. “I don't know what you mean.”

“C'mon dude!” Hayner leaned forward, bending down to look at the expression Roxas was trying to hide under that hood. “Like I'd believe the  _ mad scientist _ actually saved my butt. Pence and Olette had a weird feeling about it, too.”

Playing tag with only your eyes sounded absolutely ridiculous before Hayner met Roxas, but chasing his line of sight was a daily practice. He wasn't soft like the other two that babied their new friend whenever he got self conscious--no, Hayner was impatient, impulsive, and transparent.

Roxas admitted once that he liked that about him. Once. But it was enough.  It made things simple between them; Roxas didn't need to worry about not knowing what Hayner was thinking, even when Hayner was puncturing holes in his carefully maintained composure. Maybe especially during those times.  Lea had said Roxas needed some nudging out of his comfort zone now and then, to be shown things weren't as scary as they seemed.  Hayner had somehow managed to make that his personal mission despite not having been part of that conversation at all. It was terrifying in its own right.

Funny how someone who faced the end of the world and fought hordes of monsters on a regular basis could be scared of a little social interaction.

“You gonna admit it, or am I gonna have to see if you're just as ticklish as Sora?”

That got him to look up, eyes wide and face pale. Oh, Hayner will have to keep that crucial info for later.

“You know I can run faster than you, right?” Roxas glared defensively, plenty of bark but no bite behind that shaky grin. 

“Funny, I distinctly remember beating you at racing  _ constantly _ on the way to school.”

“Those are fake digital memories, that wasn't really either of us. Besides, you admitted they’re super foggy and also you're wrong-- _ I _ won all those races.”

“So they're fake memories, but  _ you  _ won them?”

“Yup.”

“Oooh that's it, I'm gonna make you eat those words. C'mon, first one to the tram tracks wins-”

Roxas laughed and nudged Hayner's shoulder with the side of a gloved fist. “Oh you are  _ not _ pulling me into another one of your contests, I'm going home and sleeping for a week.”

Hayner swatted Roxas’ hand away with a snort--then snagged the top of the Nobody's hood and yanked it down over his eyes. Roxas sputtered, righting his hood back to where it was, his hair sticking out at a few odd angles now.

“Was Master Aqua that hard to keep up with? You sound like this last mission was worse than band camp-- _ not _ that I would know.”

Roxas rolled his eyes. “No, it's  _ Ven _ who's killing me. He runs around like he's hopped up on ethers constantly-”

“Oh yeah, your clone!”

“He's  _ not _ my clone Hayner, we've been over this. Several times, in fact.”

“Right, right. You're  _ his _ clone, but also not because you're Sora's clone-”

“Nobody.”

“Yeah, what I say? Anyway you're avoiding the question!”

“I have  _ no _ idea what you're talking about.” Roxas covers his face with one hand. “Can I please go home and hibernate until spring, now?”

Hayner huffed and crossed his arms. “Ven slept, like, a  _ ton _ , right? Didn't he do enough sleeping for the both of you for the next century?”

“Hayner, we're not- it doesn't work like… yeah, you know what, he totally did. I actually don't have to sleep, ever. You caught me.”

“Great!” Hayner's glowing smile told Roxas he either didn't catch the sarcasm, or he willfully ignored it. Roxas legitimately didn't know which it was. “So we can go read those new comics at the usual spot with Pence and Olette?”

Despite his resolve, Roxas found himself chuckling quietly.

“... You know what, that actually sounds nice,” Roxas exhaled with a smile. “I'd like to unwind for a bit.”

“And on the way there, you can tell me how you were able to save us from the weirdo goth dude with the creepy muscle ghost.”

“That was  _ Ansem _ and  _ Terra's heartless _ , and I didn't exactly save you, I just,”

Roxas stopped, looking up with deadpan eyes. Hayner lit up like the goddamn sun.

“So you  _ did _ do something!” Hayner positively beamed, pointing just a few inches in front of Roxas’ nose. The smugness in his voice was so thick, the Nobody felt seconds away from choking on it. Maybe he will.

“I can't believe you did that. I was  _ outsmarted _ by  _ Hayner _ .” Roxas stared at his hands. “I think I need to lie down.”

“Hey!!”

  
  
  


 

Normally, it wouldn't take long to make it back to town from the haunted mansion--at least, not for Roxas. But using a dark corridor with Hayner around just wasn't an option. It wasn't like he could just up and leave a friend that came all this way to welcome him back after a full day's mission. And besides that, he never liked calling attention to the fact that he wasn't human around Hayner, Pence, or Olette.

But it didn't seem like he'd be able to avoid it this time. The instant Roxas grabbed the info he needed from DiZ's computer, Hayner was already prying.

“So, I've been meaning to ask,” he started before they even passed the gate, hands casually clasped behind his head and strolling at a leisurely pace. “Are those white monster things actually good guys?”

Roxas knew the trio of Twilight Town natives were filled in last week at the Mysterious Tower, he had been there when Master Yen Sid gave them a reluctant explanation as to why they suddenly had a second set of very fuzzy memories. Much of the gritty details had been left out for brevity's sake, but this particular topic had been covered thoroughly.

Hayner had an attention span to rival Sora's, so this wasn't as much of a surprise as it should have been.

“Nobodies.” Roxas corrected him with a sigh. “And no, no they're really not.”

Hayner's face scrunched up with a pout. “But  _ you're _ a Nobody.”

“Elites are different. Sometimes. Sort of.”

“Gee, that's specific.”

“It's just… hard to explain.” Roxas felt the excuse was weak, but it wasn't untrue. His set of circumstances were extremely odd, even among irregulars. “I'm a really unorthodox case.”

“You're just using big words to try and confuse me, aren't you?” Hayner huffed.

Roxas squinted at him incredulously. “...  _ How _ old are you again?”

“Old enough to know you're being super dodgy for nooo reason!” Hayner threw his hands in the air dramatically, turning to look directly at Roxas as if that would keep him from escaping. “We're friends man, you don't have to play that mysterious cool guy shtick with me.”

Roxas snorted.

“Oh, so I'm  _ cool _ now?” He grinned. “Didn't know I had a secret admirer.”

Hayner's mouth was already open, halfway to an indignant rebuttal with a flush covering his face and ears--but Roxas kept going.

“Nobodies aren't ‘good guys’.” He repeated, hands sliding into his pockets. “They're hostile, like the Heartless. So don't go running towards one or anything, I don't want to be scraping you up off the pavement.”

He did his best to hide just how much the thought worried him.

“But I ran to you plenty of times.” Hayner insisted with a frown.

“I'm… I'm different, Hayner.” His voice didn't sound as sure as he wished it could be. “I have a heart, like you. Other Nobodies don't. We're not even sure every Elite can eventually grow one of their own, so don't assume a humanoid form means they're trustworthy.”

At some point, Hayner crossed his arms and watched the ground in front of his feet. He actually looked like he was taking it in this time.

“But… sometimes they don't attack us.” Hayner scratched behind an ear. “The Heartless always do. Doesn't that mean they're different?”

It was odd, feeling relief that Hayner was actually starting to get it. And trepidation that… Hayner was actually starting to  _ get _ it.

“Both Heartless and Nobodies have an instinctual hunger.” Roxas didn't realize he knocked his volume down a few notches until he'd already started speaking. “Nobodies simply have the intelligence to think and plan, and follow orders further up the hierarchy. Heartless are more like mindless animals.”

“A hunger?” Hayner paled a bit. “Like… for  _ people _ ?  _ People meat _ ??” 

Roxas wished he had the levity at the moment to laugh at his friend's ridiculous choice of words.

“No, it's… hearts. Just hearts.”

As if that really made it better.

“Oh,” Hayner replied with an oddly flat tone, in a similarly quiet voice. “... I don't see how saving me from becoming a stain on a brick wall helped those noodly ones eat my heart, though.”

“Dusks.” Roxas corrected. “Those ‘noodly ones’ are called Dusks.”

“So why did they do that? The…  _ ‘Dusks’ _ .”

Roxas paused, mouth pressed in a thin line. He wasn't quite trying to hide anymore, but he was sounding more uncertain.

“They… respond to some things innately, is all.”

“Really? Huh.” Hayner blinked, and for a second it really looked like that was gonna be enough of an answer for him. “What kind of things?”

Roxas should have known better. Fate was never that kind to him.

“Just…” He took in a silent breath, hands nervously wringing in pockets. “Things connected to me. Thoughts, emotions, desires. Nobodies follow a chain of command, and Dusks are at the very bottom.”

“Oooh,” Hayner perked up a bit at that, a smile working it's way at the corners of his mouth. “So… was that you, then? Your will, I mean?”

Roxas worried his bottom lip. “Not… exactly. I wasn't there, so I had no way of knowing what was going on.”

Hayner tilted his head to the side, and the Nobody knew he wasn't going to get out of this with a half baked explanation. 

He should have expected such luck, going barely a full 4 hours of introducing himself before being cornered into sharing things he swore to keep from his friends. His sorta-friends. Sorta-super-best-friends. 

He didn't want them to know, but he wanted to straight up lie to them even less.

“They, uh… respond to their lord's boundaries.”

“...Meaning…?”

“Boundaries. Territory.”

Roxas swallowed, throat dry.

“...Possessions.”

Hayner didn't seem to be catching on, and Roxas had no idea if that was a blessing or a curse. This could very well all go over Hayner's head and he'll forget this conversation entirely in a few days (like he apparently did with Master Yen Sid). Or he could be roped into a level of excruciating detail that might end with him running to Destiny Islands.

“Territory…” Hayner mused, a hand raising to cup his chin thoughtfully. “You mean Twilight Town?”

Roxas nodded faintly.

Hayner seemed to be holding his breath, waiting for more than that. It didn't come. What else could he possibly say to that?

“That makes sense,” Hayner finally conceded, shrugging with a noncommittal huff. “This is our home. Our terf, y'know?”

He chuckled. “Saying “territory” makes you sound like some roving tiger or something though. It suits you!”

_ ‘Stars, don't call me that…’ _ Roxas thought desperately to himself, flashes of Xigbar's insufferable grin coating his memory.

“Sooo,” Hayner continued, because of course this wasn't done. “Did you claim that mansion or somethin’? Was that your possession?”

Roxas couldn't help but pause in his steps, crossing his arms over his middle and looking away shamefully. “...No.”

Hayner stopped too and stared at him, level and innocently curious. 

“... You.” Roxas mumbled, voice just loud enough to be audible. “It was you, Pence, and Olette.”

“Huh?” Hayner blinked, eyes going wide. “Wait, you mean…?”

Roxas’ gaze fell, crumbling under the weight of Hayner's sudden intense focus. There was a palpable shift in the air, between them, around them. The guilt alone was enough to make Roxas wish he could turn tail and retreat to the mansion--or hell, another world. 

But that wouldn't be right. Wouldn't be fair to Hayner.

“You guys are my best friends. You mean…  _ so much _ to me.” Roxas insisted, a hand raising to clutch at his chest. He did his best to keep his voice at an audible level despite wanting to whisper in hopes of being unheard.

“It's just that… being a Nobody kinda comes with some unsavory features, I guess. Love was never supposed to be a thing, with us. We aren't supposed to have emotion.”

Roxas hesitantly looked up at Hayner, finally meeting his gaze with a strained smile.

“So sometimes, feelings like those can get translated to… something less pleasant.”  

Hayner's shoulders had tensed at some point, because they relaxed visibly with an exhale. He then crossed his arms below his chest, looking out of place without a smug grin or proud stance. It was weird to see anything but overwhelming confidence in him.

Roxas pointedly avoided trying to scent the exact emotion Hayner was feeling. He didn't want to know.

“So those Dusks protected us… because they recognized us as ‘yours’?” Hayner asked with a slight tilt to his head. 

Roxas tasted something acrid in the back of his throat.

“It's not… in a weird way or anything,” he insisted just a bit too quickly. “Or like, okay it is kind of weird, but I didn't… I never meant to…” 

The hand firmly patting his shoulder just about made Roxas jump out of his skin--or fall over, one of the two. Maybe both, in that order

“Dude, Rox!” Hayner laughed, actually  _ laughed _ . Full and wholehearted, almost obnoxiously loud. A typical Hayner laugh. Roxas blinked at him, eyes wide and mouth barely agape.

Hayner only grinned at him, albeit with a bit more sympathy than usual.

“Quit acting like you're guilty of trashing Pence's vintage Nikon! Why are you so jumpy?”

“Buh--” Roxas responded eloquently, absolutely blindsided. Or just blinded, considering Hayner's bright smile. “But it's… isn't it  _ creepy _ ?”

“You just said it wasn't weird, though.”

“Well yeah, but it is, isn't it?” Roxas reached up to pick Hayner's hand off his shoulder, honestly surprised that he just  _ let _ him. “It's not a normal human thing.”

“You  _ aren't _ human.” Hayner's brows scrunched together. “So what? All I heard was we mean a lot to you. How is that a bad thing?”

Roxas felt more winded than he did in the Keyblade Graveyard. He stared at Hayner long enough for the taller blond to huff and roll his eyes.

“You trying to catch flies or something?”

Hayner was fully prepared for a comeback, if the hands on his hips were anything to go by. But Roxas stayed quiet, looking down at Hayner's shoes. There were scuff marks on the front, and scabs on both shins from when he and Olette tried to help take out a swarm of Neo-Shadows.

“...How can you just be  _ okay _ with me?” He asked, voice cracking with confused awe. “I was part of the Organization. I'm one of those monsters that hurt people, hurt  _ you _ . Hell, a part of me still  _ wants _ to!”

Hayner's eyebrows shot up, and for a moment, Roxas thought maybe it finally hit him. The blond reached up and pointed at his own chest.

“Because I have a heart?” Hayner asked, as casual as ever.

_ “Yes _ .” Roxas hissed out, more incredulous than angry but it was apparent how quickly he was fuming. “Hayner, I only  _ look _ human. I can't even stay in crowds too long before I start getting twitchy and anxious because sometimes it's just too much to be around hearts, when… when I  _ want _ them.”

Hayner hummed, looking over Roxas’ face with the same level of concentration he wears when reading comic books. Or Olette's poetic short stories he rarely understands, but damn if he never stop trying.

“... Do  _ we _ ever make you feel like that?” He finally asks. 

Roxas clenches his jaw, grips the leather between his hands. He can't look Hayner in the eyes.

“... Yeah, sometimes.”

“And you never said anything?”

“How could I?” The venom in his tone was ill-placed, aimed more at himself than anything else but it still slipped into his words behind a weak glare. Hayner didn't flinch. “How could I tell you that the longer I'm around you, the more  _ enticing _ you smell? How could I tell you that, sometimes when you or Pence or Olette get too close, I can't help but look for the perfect place to strike to  _ tear out your heart _ ?”

“Like that.” Hayner shrugged, as lax as before.

“Like what?” 

“You said ‘how could I’, and then you did. Wasn't that hard, was it?”

Roxas balked. Hayner absentmindedly stuck a pinky in his ear.

“How are you not even just a  _ little _ bit freaked out over the fact that I periodically  _ get the urge to take your life _ ?”

“I mean,” Hayner inspected his finger, then flicked it clean. “Have you actually done it?”

“Well obviously not, but-”

“Then what do I have to worry about?” Hands slid into denim pockets, a confident grin on Hayner's face. “So you think about weird stuff sometimes. Pence has a thing for tentacles, and we still love him.”

“...You're comparing  _ this _ ,” Roxas made a vague gesture at himself, far too incredulous to care about clarity. “to Pence's questionable internet history.”

“Hey, I trust him not to send me weird doujinshi,” Hayner grimaced. “And I trust you not to chow down on my soul or whatever.”

“I think those things are just a  _ little _ different, Hayner.”

Hayner snorted and flapped his hand at Roxas with a roll of his eyes. “You're right, Pence's stuff is way scarier. Especially his obsession with romcoms. Wait, you know what, that's worse than the tentacles-”

“Hayner,” Roxas’ voice fell to a deep, serious tone that actually bordered on threatening. It was utterly alien to Hayner, who stopped the moment he heard his name wrapped in something thick and vaguely dark. “I'm serious.”

They locked eyes, the sounds of distant birds chirping somewhere far up in the sky. It was just a bit too cold out for bugs, the breeze crawling through like a lazy Sunday afternoon. The forest felt eerily quiet and vast.

“...Is this the part where I whisper _ ‘I know what you are’ _ and you'll be like  _ ‘say it’ _ and I’ll be all  _ ‘a huge fucking dork who didn't know rocky road ice cream didn't have actual rocks in it till someone told you how dumb that'd be’ _ , and w-”

The creak of leather cut Hayner's thought short, eyes going wide as a gloved hand gripped the front of his tank and held him in place.

“Don't you  _ get _ it?!” Roxas nearly snarled with the way he bared his teeth, white incisors just a bit sharper than normal. Oh. He'd never seen  _ that _ happen.

“Don't you understand how  _ easy _ it'd be for me to kill you? You remember that Demon Tide? That was just  _ Heartless _ . Those things devour worlds and they still can't hold a candle to Nobodies.”

Hayner swallowed, but the barest change in his expression beyond surprise made Roxas think it wasn't from nerves. 

“Weird flex, but okay-”

“HAYNER.”

“Uuuhg okay we get it, you're big and scary and stupid.” Hayner groaned with a painfully over-dramatic eyeroll, then tugged at Roxas’ wrist to… have it not budge an inch. He huffed loudly and tried again with the same pathetic result, but it only earned the shorter blond a vaguely annoyed glare. “And  _ stupid _ .”

“...You said stupid twice.” Roxas leered more out of incredulity than anger. 

“Yeah, ‘cause that's how stupid you're being. Lemme go so I can clock some sense into you.”

“The entire point of this is to show you how impossible that is.”

Hayner's well thought-out, eloquent response to such an airtight rebuttal was a raspberry that actually made Roxas wince his eyes shut. It worked though, in a sense, because he slowly let Hayner go to wipe the spit off his face with an absolutely  _ done _ expression.

“Jeez, do you  _ want _ me to freak out or something?” Hayner asked, expectant and waiting and Roxas really wasn't prepared for that.

“Wh-” He blinked rapidly. “...What?”

“Do you  _ want _ me to run away screaming? Throw rocks at you and hide my kids every time you come sulking your sorry butt around the neighborhood?”

“Kids?? You don't even-”

“Do you want me to tell you, hey Roxas, you're right! Friendship cancelled. I'm gonna go have nightmares about you tearing my chest open, now.”

“I don't! I just-” Roxas snapped his mouth shut, looking away as if he was afraid Hayner could somehow see the deepest extent of his fears. 

But that was the whole point of this, wasn't it? Why else would he be so adamant about making sure Hayner knew every single possible angle from which this friendship made so little sense?

“... I just,” the Nobody dropped his voice, raw in the back of his throat and bitter on his tongue. “I don't want to find a place in my heart for you, and one day… have you realize you let a lion into your den.”

The yawning silence of the forest imposed between them, under Hayner's fixated stare. He was uncharacteristically quiet, both a relief and terror as the moments ticked by and sunk in, heavy lead in Roxas’ chest. 

“I thought you were a tiger though?”

The lead instantly boiled away with the rush of fire to his face.

“Don't call m- Oh my  _ god _ , who even told you that anyway!?”

“Hey I ain't no tattle-tale! Besides, it fits you way better than a lion.” Hayner brought a hand up to his chin, eyes closing thoughtfully with a proud smirk. “Silent, solitary, strong and efficient… but will still play in a cardboard box if given the chance.”

Roxas’ shoulders slumped and he squinted incredulously.

“... I know why I stick around you, now.” Roxas grumbled, making it obscenely clear this wasn't a compliment. “That empty head of yours is gonna get yourself killed if you don't have a babysitter at all times.”

The flat tone of his voice didn't seem to stick in the slightest, with the way Hayner proudly beamed. Hands on his hips and arms akimbo, he smiled at Roxas with all the confidence he really, really shouldn't have.

“Well, good thing I've got a friend as strong as you to back me up!”

Roxas huffed out an incredulous laugh, but couldn't help the infectious way Hayner always seemed to end up making those little reactions more sincere than intended. 

Nothing really felt… healed, exactly. But something felt lighter now.

He didn't just lay all his cards out, he practically shoved them in Hayner's face, and he still just… tossed them aside. 

Why was he ever worried in the first place?

“Wait,” Hayner paused, brows slowly furrowing. “You just called me a baby, didn't you!”

“And empty-headed,” Roxas responded without missing a beat. “That was the important part.”

“Oooh that's it! I'll show you empty-headed!”

  
  
  
  
  


By the time Roxas and Hayner showed up at the usual spot, they were half covered in dirt and Roxas actually had a twig sticking out of his hair. Hayner pointed and laughed while Pence brushed the leaves and grass out of his own grungy blond rat’s nest. 

Olette rolled her eyes and sighed about boys always needlessly tussling, to which Hayner insisted the was knocking some sense into Roxas--who was just being stupid.

Roxas laughed, tired and wholehearted. Yeah, he said (despite the eyebrows raised in shock), he was just being stupid.

The two out of the loop shrugged at each other, and focused their attention back on the box of comics laid open in the middle of the room. Pence got animated the second he could share the new issues he just bought, eagerly showing the cool pull-out poster one of them had.

Roxas all but flopped face first into the couch, sighing heavily into his fatigue and the familiar scent and sounds of their little home-away-from-home. 

Hayner gave him no warning before he sat on the middle of Roxas’ back, making the Nobody  _ ‘oof’ _ quietly into the cushions. He looked sideways at the nonchalant eyes scanning the pages of that new racing comic he couldn't get into.

Olette giggled and trotted over to join them, plopping herself down on Roxas’ legs. He didn't protest, but halfheartedly kicked just enough to jostle her into more giggles as she opened up something from the same series Hayner was engrossed in. 

Pence took a seat on the floor, right next to Roxas’ face so he could grin and set down a can of juice for him to nab whenever he got up. It was that new mango-pineapple flavor he really liked and got from the ice cream lady the last few times they went.

He smiled and closed his eyes, half buried under his friends, sore and tired and covered in dirt. 

He supposed he was fine being the dumb one for once.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you Xi for beta-ing!


End file.
